Coors Light

Name: Coors Light
Style: American Adjunct Lager
Owner: MillerCoors
Slogan: "The Silver Bullet"

BeerAdvocate Rating: 50 (Awful)
RateBeer Rating: 0, 1
ABV: 4.2%

Introduced in 1978, Coors Light was Golden's first foray into the light beer market.  In the 70s, Americans discovered what calories were, and soon after everything "lite" or "diet" was booming.  The Disco era was all about Tab Cola and light beer, because why drink sugary sodas and full-bodied beer when you spent all that effort getting skinny by doing massive lines of blow?

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Doesn't that shit look fun?

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Coors Light comes in a silver can with special paint on the label that let's you know if the beer inside is merely "Cold" or "Super Cold."  Based upon my tasting, I'm pretty sure that's because you really shouldn't let this beer warm at all because the flavors that come out really aren't something you'd
want to showcase.  The brand goes out of its way to target a youthful demographic, and I think that's a smart move.  The younger people most likely have less exposure to beer and thus have little to compare it with, and its "almost nothing" flavor profile is an easy transition from drinking bottled water, I suppose.

There's not much interesting to say about this particular dreck, so I guess on with the formal review...

Serving:
Aggressively poured from a 25oz can into a Wine Enthusiast Steady-Temp Double Wall Beer Glass. The glass flipped me off.

Appearance:
Pours very clear with the slightest hint of yellowish color.  It has a two-finger fizzy head that vanished almost immediately.  I had to take a sip and pour again in order to catch it in the picture.

Smell:
In a noteable contrast with Bud Light, it actually has a smell - it's very faint, but it's there.  Very pale malt with a hint of alcohol.  It's so faint that I actually stuck the tip of my nose in the liquid trying to get a sniff.

Taste:
As the Monty Python guys said, it's like sex in a canoe; fucking close to water.  What isn't fucking close to water is quite terrible.  No appreciable malt or hop presence and there is a distinct aftertaste of stale saltine crackers and gym socks.

Mouthfeel:
Thin, watery;  Nothing to write home about.

Overall:
I would say that when taken in totality, this beer is awful.  Epically awful.  If it were only bland and tasteless, I could get past it.  However, if you couple the bland tastelessness with the horrid aftertaste that only gets worse as the beer warms, then you get awful on a monstrous scale.

Avoid this if at all possible.  Please.  I'm begging you.